Redefining Success and Embracing Stories | Ashley Menzies Babatunde

Matt G:

[0:00] Hello, my friends. Welcome to the Life Shift Podcast. I am here with Ashley. Hello, Ashley.

AshleyMB:

[0:05] Hi, Matt. Thank you so much for having me.

Matt G:

[0:07] Well, thank you for being a part of the Life Shift Podcast. We were just talking before recording on how important this show is for me. And when you got on, you said, I was just listening and I feel seen. And that was like probably the biggest compliment you could give me for this show. So thank you for that. It is really the goal of the show is that people don't feel alone in their circumstance. So thank you for saying that.

AshleyMB:

[0:31] Yeah, absolutely. We definitely have a lot of shared goals. I can just tell. So yeah.

Matt G:

[0:36] Well, where are you joining us from, by the way? It looks really nice and beautiful back there.

AshleyMB:

[0:41] Oh, thank you. Yes. Joining you from LA, where I was born and raised. And yeah, from my home, working from home today. So.

Matt G:

[0:50] Well, it looks very pretty. If that's a green screen, you did a good job. If that's real life, even better.

AshleyMB:

[0:56] Oh, thank you. I can't believe you think it's a green screen.

AshleyMB:

[0:58] Okay, that makes me very happy. It is real life. Looks great.

Matt G:

[1:03] Maybe before we get into your story, I can just tell a little bit. If you're tuning in to hear Ashley's story and you've never heard the show before, the life shift really stemmed from my own personal experience. When I was eight, my mom died in a motorcycle accident. And after my dad told me that that happened, my entire life was different from one day to the next. I moved a thousand miles away. My parents were divorced. I mostly lived with my mom. And And so everything had changed. And this was late 80s, early 90s. And most people weren't talking about mental health or helping a kid or, you know, you just make the kid happy and their grief will go away. And meanwhile, I was hiding that, took that on as a responsibility to make sure everyone thought I was happy. But I always wondered if other people have these life-shifting moments in which everything changes. Turns out after 140 or so people that I've talked to, we do because we're humans and things happen like that in life. And so I've had the honor of talking to so many people about these life-shifting moments from internal fires where people are like, I'm just going to make this happen in my life to more external things that happen to them and what they've done with it. So I'm just honored that you want to take this space to share your story in this way, Ashley, because it really means a lot.

AshleyMB:

[2:19] Absolutely. Yeah. And it means a lot to be here. So I feel grateful to share my story. I think it's certainly a part of my purpose. So thank you.

Matt G:

ut who Ashley is right now in: 2024

AshleyMB:

[2:35] Yes. Ashley is happy and fulfilled. I like to consider myself multi-hyphenate. So I am a storyteller, DEI strategist, former attorney, and wife, soon to be mother, eight months in. So eight months pregnant, which is exciting.

Matt G:

[2:56] That's another life shift coming.

AshleyMB:

[2:58] Yes, I know, right? So we'll see how I become with that. And I am just someone who really wants to center our humanity and embrace our humanity in every way possible. With the work that I do, it's mostly in the corporate space because I am in the corporate space. And with DEI, how do we center who we are in this capitalist society? It's extremely important to me. I love I love human connection. I love story. I love people. I'm passionate about it. That's what makes me come alive. And so I love having conversations like this.

Matt G:

[3:34] And you're a podcaster?

AshleyMB:

[3:36] Oh, I didn't, yeah, when I said storyteller, podcaster, yes, I'm a podcaster. And my podcast is called No Straight Path, and we look at the human stories behind success. And so it's related to that general theme of how do we center our humanity? We see all the accolades. We see everything on social media. We see it on LinkedIn, on our resumes. But what's the actual journey behind that? Who are the people behind that? What are their highs? What are their lows? those, you know, what are they dealing with and what are the lessons learned? And we do it from a millennial perspective. I'm a millennial. And so, yeah, most people are mid-journey. And I know it's a range of a generation, but I'm 34. And so, you know, I usually talk to folks between the ages of maybe 27 to 38 and kind of, you know, talk about their lives and their future plans.

Matt G:

[4:31] That's, that's awesome. You know, I think I love that you're focusing on the human behind all the accolades. Cause I think at least like I'm on the very edge of millennial and I wouldn't, some aspects of me are millennial and some are, are the previous generation, but it's, we were kind of trained, I think in society to really like do all the good things, get the next success, talk about those. Don't tell anyone about what's happening behind closed close doors at home, don't tell anyone when you're having a bad day, and everything was kind of hidden back there. And yet, in all of these conversations, and I'm sure you see this too, there's so many moments, things that I have in common with people in their harder, more challenging, lower moments than I do with the accolades that they got or the big awards or the promotions or the things like I really connect on a human level in the struggle, in the pieces that make them more human, if you will. So I don't know if you see any of those things, but I love that you're focused in that space.

AshleyMB:

[5:36] Yeah. Yeah. No, thank you. Yes. That's exactly what I see. Yeah. I think it's It's like the things that make us human are the things that bring us together and perfection isn't human. And so.

Matt G:

[5:49] Although we were trained to be perfect. Right. And the challenge is in there too is like, oh, we were trained this way. Now, how do I unfold that? How do I unravel that? How do I find my humanity? So, good on you for doing that and bringing those things to the world because I think that also feeds into other people's version of success or the way that they would classify success. I think it becomes a different definition once we know the full human story behind it.

AshleyMB:

[6:19] Exactly. Yeah. No, you could write my podcast bio because that's what I talk about, helping people find their version of success now because it's certainly changed for me.

Matt G:

[6:29] Yeah oh i can imagine i think it i think it is changing now in like today's time i think people are approaching things a little bit different i think people are leaning into messy a little bit more they're leaning into not being so perfect as much which is nice and it's refreshing and those of us that are lagging behind where i'm trying to catch up you know, so maybe you can kind of paint the picture of what your life was like leading up to this first major pivotal moment in your life that kind of triggered all these changes that came after and made this version of Ashley.

AshleyMB:

[7:05] Yeah. So it's actually related to my perfectionism story. I think I was just born intense. I know we certainly have, there's the nature versus nurture, and I think it's always a combination of both. There's definitely societal expectations, but I was like born an intense child, overachiever, academic, would cry when I colored outside the lines. And when you would just compare that to my cousin who's like my sister about a year apart. I'd call her outside the lines. I'd have a whole meltdown, a whole breakdown, my whole family would tell me this story. It's okay, calm down. And then my cousin would go to the next activity unbothered. And so it was just like a personality type thing. And I still envy it now, like her ability to be present and be happy. I'm like, how? How can you do that?

AshleyMB:

[7:54] And so came from a super supportive family and they just really wanted me to pursue the work I wanted to pursue. So there wasn't pressure. So yeah. So it's interesting in that like I wrote when I was 10 years old, I wrote a letter to myself and I said, I wanted to go to Stanford, that I wanted to go to Harvard, that I wanted to be a lawyer amongst other things that I like love shopping and food and fashion. And those are all true still, but I wrote my goals down And ultimately- At 10? This was 10 years old. Yeah, my mom kept it. Oh my gosh. My mom was like biggest cheerleader, just super supportive. Yeah, just, so she kept everything, which I'm so grateful for. And she kept that letter. And so it was amazing to go back and look at that letter and to see that I had actually accomplished every goal in that letter.

Matt G:

[8:52] Did you remember that letter?

AshleyMB:

[8:54] No, I remember my mom like saying that I said I wanted to do these things and being, and I remember that dream. Like I remember the dream of becoming a lawyer. I knew the dream of going to Stanford because I wanted to run track there. I remember seeing them on, seeing like the track team on TV and I heard it was a good school academically and I was also an athlete. So I was like, oh, it has all the things that I would love. It's also in California because I'm an only child. My parents didn't want me to go too far away. And so it just seemed like the perfect school. So I remember always having that dream. But then going back, like Harvard Law School was never really on my radar. But then seeing in my letter that I had said Harvard, which is interesting. Must have saw that on TV. You know, no one's gone to Harvard in my family. Yeah, so I don't, not the specific letter, but definitely the dreams that I had written.

Matt G:

[9:47] Was that something like your parents influenced like hey write a letter to yourself or was that just your driven nature to be like Look, I'm gonna put my goals on paper because that's the only way it's gonna happen.

AshleyMB:

[9:58] So I think, It was probably a school activity, perhaps something. So serious. I know. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was me. Everybody says I was so serious. It's so funny because I'm so unserious now.

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